the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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