All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I pour the whiskey from now on
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
