True but thats because hes a fetus.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We don't watch enough power rangers
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
