what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think your dad took our porno
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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