We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize