i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
