she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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