I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
