Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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