awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
a search helicopter?!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
