And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
