smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
