My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
