the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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