just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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