We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
