Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
