I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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