Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
