she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
