true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
