if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
