I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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