like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
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Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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