My Higher Power is John Stamos
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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