would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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