he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize