She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
