I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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