Did you just see the Batmobile???
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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