someone get that fucking seahorse.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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