do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
