reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
