I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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