Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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