remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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