So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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