Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
When are your genitals available?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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