drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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