they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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