The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
