I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
