I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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