Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
