Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize