Christians are straight up FREAKS
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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