I never want to see another naked old woman again.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
