Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
