I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
