Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
