One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
