You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
