It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
