Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
