I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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