I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
