Apparently you make a good broom.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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