She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
