singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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